Sex, Intimacy & Relationship Coaching
Emotional Intimacy Surrogacy
Individuals & Partners
I am trained as a Somatica Coach and offer Emotional Intimacy Surrogacy as well as Sex, Intimacy and Relationship Coaching.
Performance anxiety, relationship and interpersonal dynamics, shame or lack of knowledge about sexual turn-ons, stress and self worth can wreak havoc on your ability to feel desirable, flirt, seduce, get hard, stay hard, timing and personal enjoyment. You are told that you need to fit a certain mold, be in charge, skillful and ready at any time as well as provide and caretake. This doesn't leave much room for you to be emotionally vulnerable which allows for deeper connection, a hard cock and better sex for everyone. I recognize the importance of creating a safe environment to navigate the territory around these difficult emotional topics, as well as providing support to experience your emotions deeply as well as build flirting and seduction skills.
Read my published article describing what the work can look like.
I know that we can put the sexual needs of others (especially their partners) before our own. Society tells us that we're are supposed to temper our urges and not ask for what we want; enforcing the idea that our needs are secondary to men’s. Drawing on my own relationship experiences, I help undo that narrative and work to move past societal pressure to discover strengths, understand sexual needs, break the shame shackles, and awaken alluring and powerful sexy energy.
We're often not given tools to navigate talking about our own sexual desires with our partner or given the space to ask each other for our needs or honor our own capacities and set boundaries in the relationship dynamic. Too often we just adopt a one size fits all approach to expectations which is not sustainable and leads to resentment and burnout. I enjoy working with couples jointly and individually to assess dynamics and offer a safe individual space to navigate personal needs and how they fit into the relationship dynamic.
Kink and Ethical Non-Monogamy
Needs and boundaries look different depending on who you ask. These subjects have been considered taboo and "not normal" unfortunately which has caused shame, resentment and shut down for individuals in relationships. You may not feel safe to begin a conversation about relationship boundaries or sexual desires that are integral to your emotional well-being and sexual turn-on. I love helping couples and individuals navigate what they want in their relationships in terms of boundaries, flirtation and sex outside of each other, other partners and exploring sexual desires that fall outside of the "norm". All of our needs are incredibly important and suppressing them and carrying shame takes us further from connection with partners and our emotional well-being.
Excerpt of talking about struggles with the Crush Your Goals Podcast
I specialize in de-shamifying and accepting sexual desires. We are often told that what we crave sexually is taboo, shameful and too much and therefore retreat into shame and never get a chance to feel the excitement, power and satiation of what ultimately turns us on, get us off and satiates us emotionally. This can cause us to feel broken and wrong and distance ourselves from our partners and carry shame, holding us back from developing deeply satisfying relationships.
I have worked with clients to feel safe, accepted and confident as they find acceptance and release themselves from shame by describing what turns them on, exploring what that means for them emotionally and coaching them to find the communication skills to be able to express and ask for what they need in a way that is easy and approachable to a partner. Uncovering what really turns us on can include talking, cuddling, dirty talk and role play to get real time experience of what sexual turn ons can feel like and how to navigate them with a partner.
Nourishment is also a huge part of this process. I am also a Sensual Primal Dominant and often enjoy helping clients connect with their inner primal animal which they have caged for fear of being too much. Through sensual domination, my clients also find a safe space to come in, let all responsibility go and feel nourished and taken care of which is deeply healing.
“My goal was to try something new, in hopes of finding something atypical to traditional talking through your problems with a stranger. I wanted someone who would make me get out of my comfort zone of talking with someone. Being active with somebody, I tend to get more of a bond which helps me be more vulnerable.
After trying a couple of therapists in my area without much help, I decided to try something new and different. My experience was extremely positive. I initially was skeptical, but Ashley made me feel very comfortable which helped me open up and be vulnerable. Unfortunately for me, Ashley moved to California. However, I have continued to implement what I learned from our sessions to my life. I feel much more confident and self-assured. I would definitely recommend her to someone who is open minded to a new experience!” -David
"I have had deep traumatic experience with women throughout my life. Starting with my mom, then babysitter, fellow peers in school, and even the only two girlfriends I've had in the past. So many women hurt me, so I was afraid of them. Afraid of women. Afraid of being hurt. I have not had a relationship with a woman for over 11 years. I've only had sex only three times in my life.That is where I was coming from to seek coaching and healing from Ashley. She was so calming and welcoming. She listened to me, truly listened, and never interrupted me. She respected my past discussions, she understood me, and felt deep empathy for me. She showed me how to be vulnerable to her and in turn how to be vulnerable and safe with others. I also never conceived myself as being attractive, let alone think others would find me attractive. Ashley made me realize that I AM sexy. And damn handsome too. I didn't know how to be sexy at all at first. But she taught me, and it was easy to learn. I was shown that I had known how to be sexy all along, I just had to learn how to tap into it. Ashley is so amazing with what she does. She changed my life for the better. I now have the knowledge and confidence I need to find the woman I want to love forever. And I'm not afraid of the few women I may encounter along the way, and that it is fine to enjoy the journey. I do not need to feel ashamed of my sexuality. Ashley is so wonderful and she made me feel wonderful as well. She will make you feel the same."
"There are so many amazing things to say about Ashley! She is so comforting, and lets you put all your insecurities out in the air with out judgement at all! Even after just one session everything we worked on made me feel so much more confident! Not only does she help on a sexual level but she is also so helpful on a personal level as well. She was so easy to talk to it is almost as if the words just started coming out haha! I would highly recommend going to see Ashley for any insecurity or even if you just want to up your game behind closed doors!"
"I have experienced difficulty with relationships and when my marriage had hit rock bottom. I felt like a failure, dealt with anxiety, and insecurities for most of my life. Ashley is truly an incredible person! She is an expert at what she does and I can say without hesitation that I felt better, and more confident in myself after each session I had with her. She is kind, sweet, down to earth, and very respectful. Most importantly, she always made me feel comfortable and helped me to realize I have the potential to have the kind of relationships I want. She helped me to remove the negative mental blocks in my thinking and helped me to realize I know how to be intimate, sexy, and be confident in myself. I recommend Ashley to help anyone with their dating, love, and intimacy coaching needs!"
"I’m a guy who’s in the autistic spectrum. It’s a social disorder that makes communication and interactions very difficult and frightening especially around women. I’m very shy, not confident, and traumatized from past experiences made me feel isolated, hopeless, and pessimistic about having a relationship in the future or if ever. I never had sex or having a girlfriend made me feel out of place and shameful in public and desperate for having these small moments in life. Since I was on the spectrum I had only one best friend and my 2 pets so therapy was very common in my lifetime. I found a vast majority of therapists very unreliable, due to greed, lack of empathy or interest, patience which I felt abandon and unwanted which I called my autism “a curse”.
When I first met Ashley, I was initially nervous but willing to try it out because it was new. How she greeted me with kindness, understood what I was going through, wanting to help me with the challenges that I face. It’s like an animal trying to find a home and owner that is loving, that what it was like for me seeing Ashley.
I got to make new very memorable and happy moments which I never thought would happen and replacing the traumatized moments with the new happy times. Like I never been to prom before or asked a girl to a dance, Ashley was there to make the experience happen. She makes me feel safe during the sessions in which I’m excited to see Ashley versus my previous ones who were unwelcoming and hostile. She gave me and showed hope which I havent’ had in a long time. I talked about my autism in which we call it now my sexy autism in which she finds it very attractive, awesome, and sexy. She’s the first girl to say happy birthday to me."
"I had spent the majority of my young adulthood struggling with a very specific type of insecurity; one that seemed impossible to convey and impossible to resolve. I wasn’t just lost, I was scared that I would always be lost. I had tried three different therapists, none of which truly understood the foundation of my insecurity and therefore never felt like they helped me. I was searching for something and someone different. Then I met Ashley.
Not only does Ashley makes you feel like you are the single most important person in her world, but she fosters a beautiful harmony between trust, fear, strength, communication, honesty and sexuality. Through our sessions, Ashley helped and still helps me realize my reality by grounding my character beyond what I would have ever done on my own. Her unique approach comfortably explores all my insecurities, fear and doubts in a way that actualizes the situation. It’s more than talking, it’s doing, and it’s doing it with someone who you can surrender all your insecurities to.
Over the course of our sessions I can honestly say I am changed. I have found a new sense of calmness, appreciation and love for myself. Thanks to Ashley for allowing me the space to be weird, scared, silly and safe."
Video testimony from a member of the Crush Your Goals Podcast I have had the pleasure of being a guest on.
What is this work?
In sessions with me, we find what works for you. I have been trained in the Somatica Method. I go beyond the boundaries of talk therapy to explore authentic connection that creates a safe space for your growth, healing and exploration. I work to make you aware of the emotions you can feel moving through your body so you are more mindful and aware of how you are reacting to triggers. By approaching triggering areas and blocks for you, you get directly into the situation itself to rewire your thoughts and patterns. This work uses these methods to dive deep into what is holding you back from what you’re really craving and gives you the skills to connect on deeply intimate and erotic levels that satiate us constantly in new ways.
Common Questions & Concerns
Do you work with individuals or couples?
Both. I often see couples in joint sessions and individual sessions.
We’ll be getting emotionally intimate. That's too vulnerable.
Learning to know yourself intimately and learning how to share that with someone else is the work which is very new for many people to reach such depths. I create a safe space for you and care so much about you and your growth so you can take your learned skills and apply them to your life and enjoy it outside of our session boundaries.
Are you a Therapist?
I am trained in the Somatica method and am not a licensed Mental Health Practitioner. This work however is similar with being able to go beyond the boundaries of talk therapy sessions to form a two-way authentic connection that includes erotic energy and touch enabling for direct feedback on how you connect with and come across to others. I do also enjoy working in tandem with you and your Therapist to provide the experiential growth.
Do you do Sex Work?
While Sex Work can produce many wonderful healing experiences, I am not a Sex Worker. I focus on a therapeutic approach with emotional growth, exploration and healing for my clients. Clothes remain in place and no climaxing.
I graduated from the University of Texas at Austin with an Undergrad in French language and Minor in Communications Studies. I grew up in Texas and Belgium and lived the past twelve years in Austin, Texas before moving to the Los Angeles area to what I love doing now, helping individuals and partners enhance their relationships, self worth and sex lives.
My career path includes working for the Governor’s Office in Austin on the Texas Emerging Technology Fund, the Criminal Justice Divisions’ Law Enforcement Team, working in Marketing and Sales in the Wine and Spirits Industry and working in sales for Google Fiber.
Along the way I have been married and divorced, hitting emotional rock-bottom as I realized I was putting my partner before myself in just about every way. I chose to no longer live a life that wasn’t serving me and didn’t want others to do the same.
Since then I have opened my eyes to exploring sexuality, erotic connection, relationship boundaries and learning what works for me personally. It’s an on-going process that I get to enjoy and share my experience and knowledge I have gained paired with my Somatica training to help others. It’s through this work that I really get to help others realize that they don't have to accept a life, relationship or sex life that is less than constantly being satiated.