Voyage LA Magazine Article: Hidden Gems: Meet Ashley Randall of Irreverent Love Coaching & Irreverent Scents

Article can be found on the Voyage LA website here

Hi Ashley, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.

Hi, I’m very happy to be here sharing my story about my practice, Irreverent Love, as a Sex, Intimacy & Kink Coach and Dominatrix. Thank you for the opportunity. From a young age, I noticed things I wanted to see change. I grew up in a culture where relationships often felt restricted and inauthentic. There were so many unspoken rules: stay in your lane, don’t say what you really think, don’t bring certain things up in a relationship because they’re “dark,” “weird,” “inappropriate,” or signs that you’re “broken.” I saw a huge gap in communication between people, and that left me feeling hollow and alone, unseen and misunderstood. I rejected that framework of how we’re supposed to express ourselves and connect in relationships.

After earning my undergrad at the University of Texas at Austin, I tried a few different career paths, but none felt right. I felt called to address these issues as a career. After leaving a master’s program, I discovered training as a Sex & Intimacy Coach, and a few years later, as a Dominatrix. Through this work, my goal has always been to help people stop feeling broken and to feel truly seen and understood on deeper levels. We’re often conditioned to avoid the “taboo,” much less speak it aloud in our closest relationships, because of the risk of rejection, or worse, having it used against us. I like to joke that at my first job at Hot Topic, I was leading people into “the dark side” or into something they felt drawn to. It makes me laugh because it lines up so well with what I do today.

I moved to LA eight years ago and began building my practice. Soon after, kinky and non-monogamous clients started finding me. My submissives found me too, and I realized that was a major part of my work. Some of those submissives are still with me today and remain deeply important in my life. It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing this work for almost nine years now, it still surprises me when I stop and reflect on it.

My love for my parfum line, Irreverent Scents, also traces back to my younger years. As a pre-teen, I was captivated by the exotic nature of perfume. I would spend as much time as possible smelling fragrances in stores, never getting enough. Growing up, I wanted to work in perfume advertising. I loved the culture, the creativity, the way scents became an experience or an expression of self. About three years ago, I decided for fun to start taking classes at the Institute of Art and Olfaction here in LA. I immediately began buying individual scent notes, building my perfumer’s organ, experimenting, and creating. Once I had a collection, I asked if I could sell them at local kink classes and events, and I’ve been expanding into different events and venues for almost two years now.

I’m sure it wasn't obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?

I’ve been lucky to have emotional support from loved ones along the way, and more recently I’ve leaned into community and the support and collaboration of colleagues as I’ve worked through my stubborn imposter syndrome. Building your own business and practice is not for the faint of heart, especially in a new, taboo, and highly misunderstood industry where backlash is common. I walk a newer trail of work that bridges therapy and sex work, and with that comes a lot of stigma.

But I’m wired for this. I see the need for this work and I love doing it. I know many of us feel the same way building our own businesses in our own fields. I’ve built a private practice as the emerging field of sex and intimacy coaching has grown, leaning into kink, and now watching kink and BDSM become more mainstream—which overall is a good thing. Still, there are times I’ve felt burned out, questioning whether anyone really needs what I do, or whether what I provide has value, since it lives on the edge and in discomfort. There isn’t much support for it yet.

That said, growing a practice around something I deeply believe in, something I see as a needed change that also sits on the cutting edge, has been worth every bit of effort. I’m so proud of where my business is today, and I’ll continue to put in the time to keep building it.

With my parfum line, Irreverent Scents, growth has meant a lot of repetition and showing up to events to build my name, but it’s also been a joy. I love sharing my creations and witnessing people’s reactions, that’s one of my favorite parts. The Domme in me loves watching the effect I have on people’s emotions and experiences. Seeing a scent trigger a memory, spark an emotional response, or create that look of pure pleasure crossing someone’s face is beautiful and deeply satisfying.

The next challenge is breaking into stores and scaling up. Perfume is a huge industry dominated by big houses and distributors who control most of what reaches stores, and in my opinion, waters things down. I love being niche, evocative, and provocative with my creations. I want people to have options beyond generic scents, fragrances that feel like a true reflection of who they are. I’m always happy to talk with anyone interested in learning more about my line or in carrying it.

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?

For my practice, I’ve been enjoying the chance to share more with wider audiences as I grow more comfortable in the spotlight. Semi-recently, I took a leap and appeared as a guest on a reality TV show, and I loved being able to present these subjects in a way that felt both digestible and engaging. Stepping further into my industry and the public eye has made me realize just how much I have to say. I want to help others understand they’re not alone or broken for what they want in their lives and relationships. And honestly, I think we’re all kinkier than we realize. ;)

With Irreverent Scents, I love collaborating with events and parties to create scent experiences that help people anchor a mood, feeling, expression, or headspace. Scent is the strongest link we have to emotions, memories, and lived experiences. I love guiding people in choosing something to wear that grounds them in self-expression or drops them into a headspace. I also combine scent with kinky play. At kink and play party events, I encourage people to pair a fragrance with a particular headspace or scene, which enhances the experience and becomes part of the memory. That’s one of my biggest motivations when I’m creating each scent: crafting a headspace through the emotions it elicits. It’s deeply rewarding to see scent become a tool for presence, play, and expression.

Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?

I love helping people feel seen, heard, and loved to their core. I often call myself a “Gateway Dominatrix” because the world of kink and BDSM can feel intimidating, and I enjoy holding my clients’ hands and guiding them to discover their particular flavor within this infinite, beautifully connective world. It’s not all whips and pain (though it can be). The best moments are when a client lights up, because they feel sexy and confident in connection with me, or because they’ve spoken a kinky fantasy aloud for the first time, practiced a new skill, or even regained blood flow after performance anxiety. Those moments help restore my faith in humanity. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to get by, to be loved, and to feel desired.

I’m a non-monogamous (specifically polyamorous) and dominant cis woman who loves men (and some queer babes too ;) ). My goal is to help them, and all of us, create better relationships (whatever they look like) and more fulfilling adult play lives by building skills and confidence.

There’s such a lack of real guidance for straight men in particular. That guidance often looks like learning how to emotionally connect, flirt, seduce, and navigate sexual function or anxiety. I enjoy being that female best friend who helps guide them. A lot of the time when I work with clients, I’ll point out when I feel them slipping into the performative mask they’ve been told to wear to be seen as attractive. I can spot that from a mile away. Real sexiness, deeper connection, and better sex come from dropping the facade of who you’re “supposed” to be and being real with another human being. When my clients get there, it’s such a beautiful and hot moment. It’s sexy to see them come alive and realize they’re not broken or alone, that they’re desired in that moment exactly as they are.

With Irreverent Scents, I love watching something I’ve created benefit or become something people love. Helping someone enhance how they feel and experience their life is beautiful and rewarding. At events, there have even been moments where so many people at a sex party put on my parfums, and when I walk into the orgy room, the air itself is saturated with my work. That kind of sensory overload—where my creation becomes part of the atmosphere... is intoxicating. I love those moments of helping shape something powerful and beautiful that so many of us crave.